Coping with Grief and Loss
Grief is a Natural Response
Grief is a profound emotional experience that follows the loss of something or someone important. Whether you’re grieving the death of a loved one, a miscarriage, the end of a relationship, or a major life change, grief can feel all-consuming. It can affect your thoughts, emotions, body, and sense of who you are.
At our Tunbridge Wells psychology clinic, we support individuals and families experiencing all types of grief. One of the most important messages we offer is this: there is no “right” way to grieve. It’s not something to be fixed or hurried along. It’s a process that unfolds in its own time and in its own way.
The Many Faces of Grief
Grief doesn’t look the same for everyone. While sadness is common, people may also feel anger, guilt, numbness, disbelief, anxiety, or even relief—especially if the person who died had been suffering, or the relationship was difficult. There is no ‘normal’ mix of feelings. It’s also normal for grief to come and go in waves—sometimes triggered by anniversaries, places, smells, or music.
You may have heard of the “five stages of grief”: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While this model can be helpful in describing the kinds of feelings that may come up, it’s not a step-by-step path. Many people move back and forth between these feelings, or don’t experience all of them at all. It’s not linear—and that’s okay.
Grief can also affect our concentration, sleep, appetite, and motivation. Some people throw themselves into work or caring for others. Others may withdraw from social contact. These reactions are all valid ways the mind and body try to cope with pain.
When Grief Becomes Stuck
For many people, grief softens over time. While the loss remains, life gradually becomes liveable again. But for others, the pain persists and continues to impact signficantly on everyday life. This may be a sign of complicated grief (also known as prolonged grief disorder).
Signs that grief may be stuck include:
Feeling unable to accept the loss
Persistent yearning or longing
Avoiding reminders of the person or loss
Intense guilt or self-blame
A sense that life no longer has meaning
Withdrawing from friends or responsibilities
If these feelings continue for many months and feel unmanageable, it’s important to reach out. Therapy can help you process the pain in a safe, structured, and supportive way.
How Therapy Can Help with Grief
Talking to a Clinical Psychologist can make a real difference, particularly when grief feels overwhelming, complicated, or isolating. Therapy doesn’t try to “cure” grief—it offers a space to explore it. To say the unsayable. To understand your emotions. To learn how to carry your loss while continuing to live.
At The Tunbridge Wells Psychologist, we offer several evidence-based approaches to grief therapy:
CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) can be helpful when grief triggers negative beliefs or unhelpful thought patterns, such as “It’s my fault” or “I’ll never be happy again.” CBT helps you develop more balanced and compassionate thinking.
Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) is often useful when there’s a lot of self-criticism or shame surrounding the grief. It supports you in developing kindness toward yourself as you heal.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) can be effective when the loss is traumatic, such as a sudden death or miscarriage. It helps the brain process distressing memories so that they feel less raw and more integrated.
Therapy can also help you navigate changes to your identity—whether that’s no longer being a partner, a sibling, a carer, or simply no longer living the life you expected.
Honouring the Loss While Moving Forward
Grieving doesn’t mean forgetting. Many people fear that if they move forward, they’re dishonouring the person they lost. But moving forward doesn’t mean leaving them behind. Therapy can help you find ways to stay connected to what you’ve lost while rebuilding a life that includes joy, meaning, and growth.
You might explore rituals, memory boxes, creative writing, or supporting others who’ve experienced similar losses. These actions can help you make space for the loss—without it taking over everything.
Finding Support in Tunbridge Wells and Kent
If you’re grieving and finding it hard to cope, you are not alone. Whether your loss is recent or long ago, sudden or expected, a Clinical Psychologist can help you make sense of what you’re feeling and support you through the healing process.
Our clinic, The Tunbridge Wells Psychologist, offers compassionate, tailored grief therapy to individuals of all ages and backgrounds. Whether you need a safe space to talk, tools to manage the emotions, or specialist trauma support, we’re here to help.
Grief is a journey, not a destination. With the right support, it is possible to carry your loss with strength, gentleness, and hope.
