What to expect from your first therapy session

Seeing a Clinical Psychologist (or ‘therapist’, as we are often called) for the first time can be anxiety provoking. It’s normal for anyone to have nerves, anxieties and a sense of caution about talking with a therapist about things they find difficult, especially with someone they haven’t met before.

This blog gives some thoughts about what you can expect from a first meeting with a therapist. It also talks through how to be sure you have found a psychologist that is right for you and the difficulty you are struggling with.

Remember your therapist is there to help you

One of the fears people often have when they meet with a new therapist, is that they will be judged negatively in some way.  It’s really important to remember that your therapist’s role is primarily to help and support you.

As Clinical Psychologists, we know that many things our clients tell us are really difficult to talk about. At times, clients can feel embarrassment or shame; as well as anxiety, sadness and distress hearing themselves talk about difficult things out loud (often for the first time).

As psychologists who hve worked with thousands of clients over the years, we are used to talking about, and hearing about very difficult situations and feelings. You are not alone!

Lots of other people are in therapy too, and many others will be struggling with similar difficult thoughts and feelings (albeit that their own circumstances will be different).

So, remember, your therapist is a professional who is not there to judge you and they understand that it can be difficult to talk about certain things.

Managing nerves / anxiety about the first session

If you feel nervous and find it difficult to explain what has brought you to therapy, share your nerves with your therapist.

As therapists, we find it really helpful when clients share this with us. Trying to hide feelings of anxiety or nerves in the session can actually use up quite a lot of cognitive energy / thinking space.

This can make it difficult to talk about the very things that you are there to talk about! So, sharing that you feel worried/ anxious about talking can often be a really helpful place to start.

Remember, you are the expert on your life

A therapist brings a number of years of expertise and knowledge about what can be helpful for managing difficult emotions and mental health difficulties. YOU bring a lifetime of expertise on you and your life so far.

Therapy brings these two positions of expertise together to come up with new ways of understanding and working that help you to move towards a more positive future.

Therefore, in a first session with clients, we often ask quite a few questions to get a good understanding of a client’s life context and their experiences. So, we let clients know to expect to be asked quite a range of questions (e.g. about their family, their work, growing up, hobbies and interests as well as their understanding of how and when the difficulty developed).

How to know if this is the right therapist for you?

All therapists work differently, but most will offer an initial phone call to allow you to get an initial sense of if they might be the right person to support you with your difficulties and if you might work well together.

If your psychologist thinks that the difficulty you are struggling with is not their area of expertise then they can often refer you to another therapist, counsellor or medical professional at that point.

We usually ask clients what brings them to therapy, and how we would know if things were to improve for them after a period of time working together. This is a good way of getting an initial sense of what we might need to focus on.

Some clients don’t have a clear sense of this to start with, and that is completely fine.  Usually that becomes clearer after we spend some time understanding what is impacting on your thoughts, feelings and behaviours right now.

It’s important to think about how it feels talking with a therapist. For instance, do you feel able to answer some of their questions comfortably? Do you feel listened to in a non-judgemental way? Do you feel a sense of understanding which is balanced with a degree of being challenged? (For example, being asked things in a way you haven’t thought about before; or coming to new ways of understanding some of your difficulties)?

It can be a difficult first step to make a decision to see a therapist, but one which can be life changing.

If you would like to talk on the phone with us to see if we might have the right psychologist for you, please do just get in touch.